Zwischenraum
Posted by Boo , Sunday, May 23, 2010 1:09 AM
I like this word. The space between things. This is where I've been living. I've called it purgatory, but I like this word better. It's not dogmatic. It doesn't suggest punishment or purification. It just is. A space. Between things.
I scribbled this word on a note, folded it as tiny as I could, dropped it in a bottle and set it in the current that still runs between my lately lost love and me. A mea culpa. I fought for a thousand days against this zwischenraum with both fists and both feet. I raged to escape this space. He stayed at a distance safely away from my flailing and made himself a meal. I think he speaks German. He knows where we are.
I look at this space, now, anew. It is peaceful, this zwischenraum. I can float here. I won't drown. Not like Hamlet's Ophelia. I can watch the clouds meet and merge and transform and move along.
Maybe. I'm ferocious. Impatient. It is impatience that makes zwischenraum a purgatory. It's a Chinese finger trap, this space between.
Things swirl here, beyond my reach. They won't be captured. They won't be bent. They won't be told and tamed. I am a teller and a tamer. Failed. Maybe I've been here forever.
I guess I should make myself a meal.
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